Do you believe in ghosts?

'Memories fade.'

'When you lose someone, they become a distant memory with time'. 

Yes. Memories fade.....

But no one warned me about the way that I will always remember your touch. 
I feel your face. 
I remember your smell. 
My fingers recall running through your hair. 
I feel your breath on me. 
Memories fade, yes. 
But no one warned me about your senses. 
They haunt me. 

...And I have this uneasy feeling that I will always want to be haunted.

Growing up. Hypocrisy.

Like every wanna-be 'blogger', I disappeared. I wouldn't come up with excuses about being terribly busy. I was merely getting my masters degree, and dealing with changes in my life; what some would call 'growing up'. Oh, and I forgot to write.

I find myself on New Year's eve writing this *insert flashback illusion picture* - takes me back to New Year's eves I spent from the ages 10-17 writing about the year that had gone by. Ages 18-22, I gave in to peer pressure, and succumbed to crowded parties, and started the new year waking up late. This year is different. I am going to be on a flight back home - India.

Anyway, getting back to this post, I wanted to follow up on the changes I dealt with over the past 1.5 years. Studying in the United States has made me certain about what I already thought I knew - that Indian education system at the undergraduate level ought to be a lot better. The way I learnt to solve problems has made me a much better scholar in academia as well as life. I feel like I approach the little things in life with confidence. I seem to have a plan as well as a fall-back option for every thing in life (always did, but it's a lot more streamlined now). I'm a lot more patient while dealing with new people. Though I've always been a very opinionated person, I find myself being more welcoming to other opinions. I can say without a doubt that I steer from drama, and all the teenage bullshit that goes with it. I stay away from people who are judgmental; rather try very hard not to be rude to people who comment without a valid reason (yes I decide which reasons are valid). I do not know if it's the new environment that has made me more adaptable, or if it's just me growing up.

I've always believed New Year's eve is overrated. It is a day where the service industries charge customers obscenely high prices, and get away with it. It is a day people are forced to make resolutions they know they'll never keep. Kids drink too much, drive too fast, go a little too crazy; it's a mad mad mad world tonight. Did I mention I live in New York ? Yeah, the place where the ball drops at midnight, and there are thousands of people gathered at Times Square, freezing their asses off. Now you can imagine why I'm not out. On the bright side (I believe most terrible things have a bright side), I think this day is a wonderful opportunity for you and I to look back on the past year, and forget all the bad things that happened to us, learn to forgive, learn to love, and learn to hope and just believe a little more - however hard it may be to do so. In my case, I take this day to remind myself to relax a little bit, let my hair down once in a while, and take chances; I hardly ever do. You know what annoys me so much about this day? It's only today that I say these things. It's probably only tonight. THAT annoys me.

Carpe Diem man! Every day - seize it! You and me both.
Maybe someday, I'll give in to this madness. Maybe 2016 will begin with watching the ball drop on Times Square. What do I got to lose other than my sanity after all?

I might have been wrong

After a brave post of how I've learned to deal with change, I realise that I might have been wrong.
If you've read my earlier post, read on. Else, scroll down, read that post and then come back to this (marketing strategy?).

I was prepared for this change. Or so I thought. I'm leaving in 11 days.

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standing here outside my door. I hate to wake up and say goodbye." - a song modified to my convenience.

It's hard saying goodbye to everything you've ever known. This place I've lived in ALL my life. The friends who live right across the street, the ones who live just a minute away, and some who live far far away. All my friends are moving to new places. But that doesn't make it easier. It really doesn't. It's more about how none of the people you knew and spent all that time together for 10+ years are not going to be in the same place, same time. It's going to get harder to meet all at once, with studies, work and maybe family for some.

Ok. I think this is the weird thing about Life. The fact that you spend MOST of your life in some place (for me it's 21), then you move to a place that's probably gonna be "something you'd like to call home but it clearly ain't" for a few years, and all of a sudden your life is made. You settle in a place and live there for lesser time but it becomes the convenient choice. Why is that? Shouldn't time be the one deciding how close each place is to your heart? Is money taking the front seat?

Ok, so. I think I might cry. I might. Just might. 'Cause it's hard being on your own. For people from India, it most definitely is. Most of us are not used to washing our dishes and doing our laundry. DIY  is a term hardly known in India. Do you wanna fix a pipe at home? Call the plumber. Do you wanna put some furniture together? Call the carpenter. Wait, why don't you Do It Yourself? No no, our place doesn't work like that. There are people who do those things for us, and it's not so expensive to hire them. Oh, is it? Yes, we need to provide them with jobs. Yes, this is India, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE being pampered this way. We're all way too spoilt for our own good, but I enjoy every moment of it. 'Cause pretty soon, people are gonna bank on you. No more childish tantrums, and demanding more gifts for birthdays. Ok maybe that point can be discussed further, but you get my point.

I am wrong. Strategies and planning don't work in this case. Change is definitely hard. And moving on is the worst thing ever. So if you ever got to do one of these, damn it, man up! Cry a little, and just man up! 'Cause change ain't going nowhere.

Life is here. And this is it. Take it or leave it. What's it gonna be?